I dont wanna fall for you

For quite some time now, I've been questioning whether or not I really am in love with you. It's not much of a question whether I like you but love is an entire different entity. Love is something serious.  I want you so much that it scares me. It's a damn obsession I've had for a long long time. To be with you. To spend time with you. I'm not looking for any romantic gestures on your part coz no matter what you do, when you spend time with me, or even talk to me, my heart skips a beat. Is this love? Maybe. But I do not want to fall in love with you.

Restless

Everytime we meet, I feel sad after. I love spending time with you but you have the habit of breaking my heart each and every time. It's really sad. All I ask is for your time and the things you can give me. I never asked for more. But you keep pulling away. And you give me less and less each time. And you expect me to be contented with that? If you don't want me then leave me. Don't make me feel bad about asking for more 'coz it's your fault.

I've always talked about calling this off but I'm too attached, too comfortable with you. Maybe it is better if we stayed just as friends instead of this relationship. More than friends but less than lovers. It's getting complicated. And honestly, I'm thinking is this relationship really worth the effort? I'm beginning to feel unsatisfied.

Once Upon A Star

Sanay na ako. Alam ko naman. From the start I knew it won't end in a positive note. I really like you so much to the point that I think I'm in love with you. But this is as far as it goes. I'm sorry. I know I said we were good. I know I said I'm not mad. I know I said we're okay...but give me time to pick the pieces of my broken heart. This is already the second time you rejected me.

I wanted to be with you. That's all I wanted. To be able to stay by your side. But that ain't happening. We have our own circumstances. Still it doesn't change the fact that I like you. Possibly more than you will ever know, after all I'm just a hair short of confessing love...which I still question til now.

This is one of the hardest things I had to do. I'm trying to cut my connection with you. I don't wanna sever the ties but I think I have to for now. I think I deserve to spare myself from more heartaches.

I doubt na tatagal ako ng isang linggo na di ka nakakausap. Pero pano nga ba?

To You

Earlier, I saw someone who looked exactly like you from behind. Your hair and your thin frame. It makes me think of the moments I spent looking at your back. You were always a breathe of sunshine. How you'd shyly smile at me and your cute sweet gestures. I miss you. I miss how you treasured me. How I wish I could have chosen you...but alas, things that are not meant to be, are not meant to be. Still, I wanna see you. I wanna talk to you. When I do, will there be a spark of maybe? Will there be acceptance and closure? And would it be too much to ask who SC really was? Or if she really did exist? It still haunts me. The memories of you and me...of being left hanging...and finally forgotten.

New year

Every year start the same, with you and me chatting on messenger. Exchanging greetings, giving updates, and exchanging jokes. I don't know if you noticed but mixed with the jokes and laughter are all the feelings I'm trying to keep bottled in. We are not meant to be. And we will never be meant to be. But in my heart I know there's a flicker of hope I've been sustaining through the years. A hope that I'd like to put out but is being kept alive by these feelings that burn...