More than enough

I loved you when even the word forever did not suffice. I loved you that no words is enough describe. I loved you yet I choose to leave you. I miss you very much but I will not come back. I loved you with everything. I loved you and still I long for you but I cannot go back. I must not come back. You and I have suffered enough. I have suffered more than enough.

Sooner or later, I'll be over you. It would be a very hard path. There are a lot of bumps along the road. I will trip and fall but I know I will get over you. I choose to leave you. The love that once bound us have already tattered to pieces. I loved you and that is more than enough.

Kaya mo.

Walang mangyayari kung patuloy kang iiyak. Ito ang pinili mo. Panindigan mo. Kaya mo. Kakayanin mo.

Realization

I've been rereading some of earlier posts and I can't help but feel that I was such an ass. I mean really. I was an ASS! Grabe. I don't know if I was being naive or just plain stupid. haha Yet, somehow little by little I saw myself grow. I saw how my love grew and became powerful. I saw a lot of my good side and bad side. My ex really did have a hard time loving me, a spoiled indecisive little brat. But he loved me before. And I loved him more because he did. But I guess what I did early in our relationship had its toll. Nevertheless, I refuse to take all the blame. I saw my self mature. To be put in so much anguish and hold on. It was a beautiful sad story. The end was put off more than a few times but we got there just the same.

Kung bakit kita minahal

Natanong na naman ako, bakit daw hindi kita maiwan? Bakit daw kita minahal? Bigla akong natigilan. Napaisip ako kung anong isasagot ko. Bakit nga ba? Sa hinaba-haba ng panahon na minahal kita, bakit nga ba? Pinagisipan ko ng mabuti ang dahilan at sa tingin ko wala ng mas hihigit pa sa rasong ito: dahil minahal mo ako. Minahal mo ako sa panahong mismong ako sumuko na sa sarili ko. Minahal mo ako sa panahong walang wala ako. Minahal mo ako kahit halos alak na lang ang laman ng sikmura ko. Minahal mo ako kahit na wasak na wasak ako noon. Minahal mo ako ng higit sa pagmamahal ng mga nauna kong mga boyfriends. Ipinakita mo sakin na karapat dapat ako sa pagmamahal na seryoso. Minahal kita sapagkat handa kang masaktan para sa akin. Minahal kita sapagkat minahal mo ako. Yun ang pinakamatinding rason kung bakit.

Mahirap ipaliwanag sa lahat kung bakit sa lahat ng tao ikaw pa. Pero pinanindigan ko ang pagmamahal ko sayo. Isang bagay na sa huli pala'y mauuwi din sa isang pamamaalam. Nagbago ka. At kahit ilang ulit pa nating ulitin ang istorya natin, mauuwi't mauuwi rin ito sa hiwalayan. Hindi na ikaw ang lalaking minahal ko...sapagkat ang lalaking mahal ako kailan ma'y hindi ako magagawang lokohin.

Sa totoo lang, akala ko talaga tayo na. Para tayong araw at buwan. Kung gaano iniiwasan ang init ng araw, sya namang paghanga ng mga tao sa kagandahan ng buwan. Ngunit hindi liliwanag ang buwan kung wala ang araw. Kumbaga, ikaw ang araw at ako ang buwan. Maiksi ang pasensya mo. Mainitin ang ulo. Ako naman pasensyosa at handang magparaya. Ikaw at ako'y nabuhay kakabit ang hininga ng isa't isa. Yun ang gusto kong isipin noon.

Maraming nang bagay ang nangyari buhat noon at kahit ang isang romantikong tao katulad ko, na naniniwala sa isang tunay na pag-ibig, ay kailangang bumitaw. Ikaw man ang araw at ako ang buwan, kailan ma'y hindi natin kayang pagsaluhan ang langit sa habang panahon. Sa bawat patak ng luha na dumaloy sa aking mga mata'y sya namang paglalim ng sugat sa aking puso. Ang mga taong pinagsaluhan, aahin pa kung puso ko nama'y upos na upos na. Ang aking mundong umikot sayo, unti-unting tumigil, nadurog at naglaho.

Magiba man ang ihip ng hangin, iyong pagkatandaan, minsang minahal ng buwan ang araw sapat upang hamakin ang lahat. Ngunit ang araw, gaano man ito kalakas, dadating at dadating ang oras kung saan ang liwanag nito'y unti-unting matatakpan ng mga ulap. At ang panahong pagsasamahan ng araw at ng buwan ay tuluyan ng maglalaho. Katulad ng pagmamahal nating dalawa.

Round and Round We Go

You and I...Me and you...Us...we...lots of words used to indicate the two of us. It was never easy to describe what we were and what we are. It's complicated without being COMPLICATED. Haha Words are just not enough to fully capture what it is that we have. No matter how hard one tries, never will he succeed it describing this topsy turvy thing that we have. Everything falls short except the word FUN.

I love it when we talk. I love it when you hold my hand. And I love it when we kiss. I feel so warm. And just like a little high school girl, I feel so giddy inside. I love how you make me feel so happy. We are friends. Maybe a bit more. But we'll always be less than lovers. I will always like you the same way I did before but never love. It's too complicated! Haha And this is coming from someone who lived up to years in full complication! But never again.

Hand in hand we go. Let's be off to see the world. Let's conquer everything in our paths. You and me. Let's plunge head on to this. Round and round we go!