Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu?

Nakakainis naman oh. New year na new year isnabero! Hmph. Bahala ka. >:P Sabi nga nila, ang hindi umiimik, makaka-bad breath!!! WahahaXD

I refuse to let it affect my mood. I've been trying to reach out but if he won't let me, I can't. Just shows how really selfish I am. Can't let him heal at his own pace. I have to clean my conscience and stuff. It's more for my sake that his own. All I wanna hear is, "Let's leave the past where its at. Let's start being friends again. Do over to a new year" Well, I think that not gonna happen. At least not for now.

Any way, KAMPAI!!!

"Kotoshi mo yoroshiku onegaishimasu (I look forward to our continued relationship over this year)"

Akemashite Omedetou Gozaimasu! ^.^

A Confession to my Friend

I just really wanted to see if you're okay. I want to see what's up with you. We haven't been talking much these past few months and I just want to see if you'll be fine without me. And somehow I think you are.

It's a mixed feeling actually, I'm happy that you're fine yet a bit sad because you've managed to ignore me for so long.

If I was writing this a few weeks back, I would have wished for you to need me. To need me in the sense that you wouldn't be able to live without me. Back then I didn't want to choose. I wanted you as well as my boyfriend. I was selfish. I made you hurt and I made him hurt too. After thinking it out, I decided to chose you but you were no where to be found. It's hard giving your heart to someone who's trying very hard to forget you. I called. I texted. I tried to reach out to you, but I also wanted to preserve my pride...

When my boyfriend and I broke up, I wanted you to call me, to text me, or do whatever to contact me. But you didn't. And now, things changed. I'm not that selfish anymore. I'm setting you free as I am setting myself free.

It's a nice feeling not hoping for you to come back. No more false hopes. I've never been fond of goodbyes. Let's just start a new chapter of our lives. Just as friends. Nothing more, nothing less. For that to come true, I'll need your help.

When I lost you, my boyfriend worked hard to get me back. He didn't lose hope. At first I kept resisting his efforts, but now he reaps the fruits of his labor. He got me back. Little by little, he won me back. I didn't fell in love with him instantly, but I know that deep down I still have feelings for him. I love him, but still not to the point where I was in love with him. There's a big difference between the two. Yet, he held on to that.

Finally, after battling with myself several times, I know what I want. I want someone who'll be there, even though I raise hell at times, even though I make stupid decisions, and even though I hurt him at times. I want someone who'll love me despite my shortcomings.

I am not half hearted anymore. I lost my faith in forever and Bam has given it back. He made me believe in forever once more. I am once again, in love with him.

My friend, I pray that someday I can hear you laughter alongside mine. I pray that you'll take good care of yourself. May you be healed of your pain and may the sadness in your eyes be replaced with happiness. I will always love you and care for you. And when you need me, you'll know where to find me. *hugs*

My Christmas Wishlist

A lot of people's been busy writing their Christmas Wishlist. Might as well join the bandwagon! HahaXD So here goes:

1. Furisode with Obi. I really want a furisode! Ever since I got hooked into this geisha business I wanted my own kimono. J

2. Car. Yup. I want a car. I don’t care if it’s old. I just want a functional car. Haha. But first, I’d have to learn how to drive and get a license.

3. Laptop. Come on! I’m gonna start working soon. I want my own portable computer!

4. Teddy Bear. Haha. I’ve olways loved teddy bears! Right now I sleep with seven huggable stuffed toys. Mind you, I sleep in a single bed. Upper deck of the bunk. Haha.

5. Cellphone. Turns out, I’m not so lucky with cellphones. Strike two! First stike, I was robbed of my N70 inside UST campus. Second strike, my 6120c kissed me goodbye together with the Ondoy flood. I just want a phone that can store a lot of messages so I won’t erase as often and a camera wouldn’t hurt.

6. Shoes. Shoes. Shoes! I love shoes. I just hate shopping for them. Haha. I love it when they’re in a mag, but sometimes I lose interest when they’re already in front of me. Weird. Haha. Any way, I want a cute functional pair with a bit of heels...a stilleto also sounds tempting though. So much for functional! Haha

7. Perfume. I’d love a bottle of Clinique Happy or Estee Lauder’s Pleasures. Right now, their my signature scents. Hehe

8. Puppy. I really love dogs! Hehe. But I’m also scared of them. Haha. Among my top picks are Shih Tzu, Maltese, Siberian Husky, Chow chow or Golden Retriever. Another option is a Persian cat. I want it to be either pure white or pure black. Hehe

9. Chocolates. Love them. I’d mention some here: Twix, 3 Musketeers, Kisses, Hugs, ... As long as it’s yummy, it will do. Haha

10. Clothes. I just want something good to add to my wardrobe. XD

There it is. That’s all I can think off right now. Any way, you’re pretty much welcome to get me anything. I’d appreciate it whether its on or off the list. J