Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Reactions

Tama na. As in tama na. I don't want anything to do with you so please stop tormenting me. I don't want to hear your voice. I don't want to text you or call you. I just don't. It's freaking stupid when we do that. I mean, I feel so stupid. So used. So please stop it. Give me a sense of pride, will you? I'm just too damn nice sometimes. I can't be rude. *sheez* I hate myself.

Whenever I think about you, it give me mixed feelings. Yes, you were a first and quite memorable. You can never be erased from my mind. But what is it with me that keeps getting irritated with the thought you you. Can it be that I'm not over you? Oh f***! I think I may still be bitter. I loved you with my everything and now, I should hate you. But I can't. You still have the power to affect me so.

You can make me smile. You can make me laugh. You can make me cry. And you can make me feel oh so stupid. It's pathetic. I hate feeling this way.

Maybe it's better if I just let exes be exes...and cut all connections? It just feels so weird having you again in my life. Not too close but present. It makes me feel like I want to erase you from my memory.

Hay...will I end up feeling the same for that guy. Once I get over my feelings for him will it be the same? In order for me to move on, will I subconsciously begin to hate him? I wonder. He is a guy not deserving of my hatred. He was a wonderful guy and I even ended up falling for him. But I guess, now, we are mere strangers.