This is not goodbye

"If he was meant for you, you will be brought together, and you should expect the world from that. You cannot wish for something without conviction." -Mrs. Alcantara, Between dinner and the morning after

It doesn't matter how far our paths diverge. I believe in destiny. If we were meant to be, we will be. It doesn't matter how long...

Right now, I can't let the sadness eat me up. I won't let it rule me anymore. I'll be stronger. For you and for me. I'll leave you be. You happiness will always be important to me. So for now, this is it...end of the line.

I'll start creating up my own future. I'll dream up my own dreams. I'm not gonna depend on you anymore. I'll be alright on my own.

I have to be strong for the people who love me. I have to be strong for myself.

I can, I will and I must pull through.

This is not goodbye. I just chose to accept the reality that you're not mine anymore. But there will always be a question of maybe...someday...I'm not hoping anymore...but I'm open to the possibility.

I'll see you when I see you. :)

God, kayo na po bahala...

God, kayo na po ang bahala. I know that I can never bring back the past. I tried to make amends to the person I love but to no avail. He has fallen in love with someone else. What else can I do. If he's happy with her, then I'll be happy for him. I love him. As much as I want their relationship to fall, I can never think that. It will hurt him. I don't want him to hurt any more. I want him to be happy. Be it with me or with someone else. I just want him to be happy. I know I'll cry and mourn over my loss but what else is there to do? I wish that their relationship be happy and well. I hope that Rina will take good care of Bam. I hope that their love will be enough to erase the pain I've caused Bam. I guess this is the end of the story of the turtle and the shell. An end to Shelene and Bam.

I love you, Bam. But as you wished it, I'm letting you go.

God, Kayo na po ang bahala sa taong mahal ko. Kayo na po ang bahala sa tayong mahal nya. Nawa'y patnubayan nyo po ang kanilang relasyon at nawa'y maging masaya sila.

Kayo na rin po ang bahala sa akin. Nasasaktan man ako ngayon alam kong may plano kayo. Kayo na po ang bahala sa buhay ko. Gabayan nyo po ako sa twina.

The memory will always stay with me. I will always remember that once in my life Turtle loved me. But it's over and we all must move on.

Towards a better future.

Goodbye, mahal ko...mahal na mahal kita...

My Turtle...

I have done everything I could to bring you back. I begged and I pleaded. I ate all my pride and threw away my ego. All have been said and done. It's not my fight anymore. You have to decide. I do love you, Bam. More than anything in the world, I love you. But I cannot do anything anymore. You're starting to fall for someone. Though you're still confused, it hurts. I couldn't help myself from asking, what is there to be confused of? Is it your feelings for her? Or your feelings for me? Right now, I'll do what you asked of me. I'll wait. I'll wait even though there's no assurance that you will come back. I couldn't help myself from hoping but I'm ready to accept whatever it is that makes you happy. Though I still wish you'd find your happiness with me, I cannot dictate your decision.

As my dad said, "Kung para sayo, babalik at babalik sya. Kung hindi, hindi natin mapipilit."

I'll take all the memories and keep them in my heart. Wherever we go, no matter how far our paths diverge, you will always have a place in my heart.

If in case, you find your happiness with her, it will hurt but I'll be happy for you just the same. I'll still be here when you need me. No matter how we put it, you will always be my Turtle and I will always be your Shell.

I love you, Abraham Santos Vega...and I always will...

*Sigh*

Time can either be my friend or my enemy...

*Sigh*

If only life had a reset button, I'll use it to go back to the time that you and I were still together.

*sigh*

As much as I want to you to be happy, I still want you to be with me...

I love you, yet loving you makes me feel so vulnerable. Like a blind person crossing the street. It tears me up inside. In turn, I lose myself.

I need to take care of myself a bit more.

I need to love myself again...

Your Happiness

Just when I thought that everything will be okay this happened. I don't know what to do anymore. Will holding on make me any closer to him? How can I compete? Will my love be enough? I thought that the worst was over. I was wrong. This is far worse. I'm losing him all over again. No matter how much effort I put in it, he keeps pulling away. Is the world tearing us apart?

Waiting without assurance. It's the same thing he did when I felt the way he does now. I hope it will end in the same way. I hope he finds his way back to me. I really love him. More than anything in the world, I love him. There's nothing I wouldn't do just to have him back. But then again, what if he's happier with her? What's more give? What's more to do?

My heart aches. My eyes are puffy from crying. Yet I cannot describe this pain I'm feeling.

My love, I hope you find your way back...I hope you'd pick me. I hope that you'd love me the same way you did back then. Yet I have no say in your decision. I love you but your happiness is what matters most to me. I hope you'd be happy...and yet I wish that your happiness is to be with me...

I love you, Turtle...I wanna be your Cubbie Shell again...