I dreamt of a lot of things

I dreamt of a lot of things this week. I dreamt that I was hanging out with Carina, Fritz, Osche and Mac-mac. We seemed to get along just fine though there was a slight tension between Carina and I. They were staying at my house. In my dream, you also moved out of your house and was living under my roof as well though for that time being, you were not there. Before we hit the sack, we talked about you. She accused me of flirting with you and blaming me for the cold treatment you were giving her. I was annoyed with that and decided to send you an "I miss you so much" sms. Turns out, your phone was with her. She became furious. Couldn't blame her. But I was smirking. Later, my dad went into the room and she decided to tell on me. My dad just said, "That's why he looked familiar", and walked away. Instead of feeling guilty, I walked as if nothing's wrong. Besides, it was my house after all.

In that dream, I was such a bitch.

In another dream, I saw my shoti. He was making me smile again. He was very nice to me and the atmosphere was almost like love. We were at BRH and we playing tag. We were running and then suddenly upon reaching the ER, I'd slow down and walk. It's like I'm denying the fact that I was with him and that I was playing tag. I'd look at other people's faces and judge their reaction. Outside the ER, I'd continue running after him. We stayed at the plaza. He was still smiling and laughing. He didn't care that I let him run alone. I was the only one he cares about and no amount of judgement from other people can change that. And that's when I felt guilty. I don't feel the same way.

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Recently, I've been thinking about you a lot again. I'm even wondering if you're thinking of me too. Does my dream have any bearing with reality. After all, you want to see me. Although for what reason, I am unsure...

And then there's the confession that I received from my shoti. Somehow, it plagues my mind. He's a good kid. But I know I'm not the girl for him.

And so that's it for my thoughts for today.