My Turtle...

I have done everything I could to bring you back. I begged and I pleaded. I ate all my pride and threw away my ego. All have been said and done. It's not my fight anymore. You have to decide. I do love you, Bam. More than anything in the world, I love you. But I cannot do anything anymore. You're starting to fall for someone. Though you're still confused, it hurts. I couldn't help myself from asking, what is there to be confused of? Is it your feelings for her? Or your feelings for me? Right now, I'll do what you asked of me. I'll wait. I'll wait even though there's no assurance that you will come back. I couldn't help myself from hoping but I'm ready to accept whatever it is that makes you happy. Though I still wish you'd find your happiness with me, I cannot dictate your decision.

As my dad said, "Kung para sayo, babalik at babalik sya. Kung hindi, hindi natin mapipilit."

I'll take all the memories and keep them in my heart. Wherever we go, no matter how far our paths diverge, you will always have a place in my heart.

If in case, you find your happiness with her, it will hurt but I'll be happy for you just the same. I'll still be here when you need me. No matter how we put it, you will always be my Turtle and I will always be your Shell.

I love you, Abraham Santos Vega...and I always will...

*Sigh*

Time can either be my friend or my enemy...

*Sigh*

If only life had a reset button, I'll use it to go back to the time that you and I were still together.

*sigh*

As much as I want to you to be happy, I still want you to be with me...

I love you, yet loving you makes me feel so vulnerable. Like a blind person crossing the street. It tears me up inside. In turn, I lose myself.

I need to take care of myself a bit more.

I need to love myself again...

Your Happiness

Just when I thought that everything will be okay this happened. I don't know what to do anymore. Will holding on make me any closer to him? How can I compete? Will my love be enough? I thought that the worst was over. I was wrong. This is far worse. I'm losing him all over again. No matter how much effort I put in it, he keeps pulling away. Is the world tearing us apart?

Waiting without assurance. It's the same thing he did when I felt the way he does now. I hope it will end in the same way. I hope he finds his way back to me. I really love him. More than anything in the world, I love him. There's nothing I wouldn't do just to have him back. But then again, what if he's happier with her? What's more give? What's more to do?

My heart aches. My eyes are puffy from crying. Yet I cannot describe this pain I'm feeling.

My love, I hope you find your way back...I hope you'd pick me. I hope that you'd love me the same way you did back then. Yet I have no say in your decision. I love you but your happiness is what matters most to me. I hope you'd be happy...and yet I wish that your happiness is to be with me...

I love you, Turtle...I wanna be your Cubbie Shell again...

URGENT HIRING! Call Center Agents!

SONG HELP! Please ask your grandmas and grandpas.

Hi, guys! I need help finding the lyrics and the artist of this song, "How strange my love, that's why you and I will kiss in the moonlight and whisper goodbye. How strange my love so soon our love will fade away with the moon" This song is very dear to my lolo. He passed away last Monday, Jan. 10, 2011. If you have any information at all with the song, it will be greatly appreciated. (P.S. I tried online searches but I can't find any leads.) Thanks in advance.

Love and Sadness

I'm stuck with this overwhelming sense of sadness. It's like my heart wants to break into a thousand pieces. I am so lost right now. I don't have someone to keep me grounded anymore. I'm floating, yet I keep tripping and falling. I'm so sad right now. My heart wanders to the place where I've been for the last two years. All the love and the memories. It strangles me and drowns me. I'm confused and hurt yet there's no one else to blame but myself.

I keep thinking what was so important that I had to leave my comfort zone. I keep thinking that if I stayed there I wouldn't have this feeling. I could have saved myself from all these unnecessary pains. Yet, I have to realize that I'm doing this for my own good. Love will not sustain me forever. One needs safety and stability. I need what I want. I want what I need. Someone who is not necessarily the right person but will make himself right for me. Someone who will love me and take care of me. Someone who frequently checks on me. Someone who picks me up after work though he himself has had a rough day. Someone who never allows me to go home by myself. Someone who would always be glad to see me and always greet me with a smile. A person who will go out of his way just for me.

In every relationship it is always I who gives my all. I always end up taking care of the person I love. It's fine...but I need to be taken cared off too. I need to be loved in the way that is recognizable to me. I need my love to speak my language. I need him to learn my love language and I need to learn his as well.

I'm getting tired of crying...I don't wanna hurt anymore...

Jealousy

What is this I'm feeling? I've been thinking about the two of you for quite some time now. I couldn't really shake the thought of you and her together. I know that you're friends and everything but somehow, this feeling keeps recurring. Like an endless nightmare. I think I really might be jealous of her.

Why is it that I can never say it out right. I never want to assume because I might just fall flat on my face. I run whenever things get complicated. Well, things are getting too complicated now and what do I intend to do about it? Absolutely nothing. Although I maybe jealous of her right now but I'm hoping eventually this feeling will die down. I really don't want to do anything because I'm down right scared.

I'm scared of my feelings for you.

I don't want a sticky situation and I don't wanna get caught in this dilemma. But I think it's a bit too late to be saying stuff like this 'cause I'm already here. I'm exactly where I was a year ago. It's a bit different but the feeling's the same.

Last year someone loved me so much that it hurt for me to let him go. It was a very pure love. Innocent and pure. Yet this time, I'm not even sure if he's serious about me. I guess that's what scares me the most.

As much as I try to deny it, little by little I'm getting too drawn to him. I'm liking him more than I'd like. I'm trying hard not to fall 'cause I don't wanna lose my balance...